Unwritten....

I love Natasha Bedingfield's music. Thanks to L.A. for introducing me her music...Just when I thought my sister and I already have a "generation gap" in music terms :) That's the only "gap" I can think of between us (aside from the age, of course) coz I can be childish and L.A. can be mature at times, but we are still in the same EQ wavelength and frequency. Anyways, this song keeps playing on my mind. I thought I might as well post it, so it will play on your mind too! :)

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned 

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions


Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

If I were …, I would be

If I were a beginning, I would be… the first impression
If I were a month, I would be… December
If I were a time of day, I would be… evening
If I were a planet, I would be…. Earth
If I were a season, I would be… spring
If I were a sea animal, I would be… dolphin
If I were a direction, I would be… true North
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be… lounging chair
If I were a sin, I would be… pride
If I were a liquid, I would be… water
If I were a scare, I would be…. scary!
If I were a gem, I would be…. pearl
If I were a flower/plant, I would be… daisies/mums
If I were a kind of weather, I would be… summer rain
If I were a musical instrument, I would be… flute
If I were an animal, I would be… bird
If I were an emotion, I would be… happy
If I were a vegetable, I would be… lettuce
If I were a sound, I would be…. voice
If I were an element, I would be… water
If I were a car, I would be… a topdown BMW
If I were a food, I would be…. sweets
If I were a place, I would be… seaside
If I were a material, I would be… silk
If I were a taste, I would be…. citrusy
If I were a scent, I would be…. lavander
If I were a religion, I would be… Christianity
If I were a sentence, I would be… concise
If I were a facial expression, I would be…. suplada.
If I were a subject in school, I would be… geography.
If I were a colour, I would be… green.
If I were a thing, I would be…. pen
If I were a book, I would be… hard bound
If I were an artist, I would be… a painter
If I were a landmass, I would be… the great canyon
If I was a watch, I would be… tag heuer Formula 1
If I were God, I would be… Athena
If I were a vowel, I would be… I
If I were a theory, I would be… a conspiracy
If I were a famous person, I would be… the Queen
If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be… cell phone
If I were a sport, I would be… tennis
If I were a movie, I would be… a romantic comedy
If I were a cartoon, I would be… Pooh and Friends
If I were an explorer, I would be… Dora the Explorer
If I were a scientist, I would be… taxonomist
If I were a relation, I would be… Mom
If I were a river, I would be… Mississippi
If I was intoxication, I would be… really strong
If I were alone, I would be… sad
If I were a question, I would be… How?
If I were a habit, I would be… hard to break
If I were in an atom, I would be… neutron
If I were you, I would be… ME!

How about you? What would you be?

I survived!

It is now official, my first semester as an MS student is sooo over, done, finished! And yes! I survived FPL and Ma'am Zaffy! Way to go girl! But... I have to submit my concept note now and work on my Plan of Course Work for the next semester.Haaayyy, just when I thought that the semester is finally over, another one is about to begin. My stress level is getting lower and then higher and higher and higher again. With 12 GSDs  (and counting) in line for integration and 1314 aquamaps for review...I will surely have a very merry Christmas!!

Sick and Tired

To be sick and tired means you can't stand no longer or you're fed up or you hate it.  And, to be sick and tired of something or somebody is a real distress. But to be sick and tired literally AT THE SAME TIME is a disaster!! I've been feeling sick since Thursday last week, hmmm, since Wednesday actually after the 2 hour badminton play and a can of ice cold coke. I don't know how it came about...can be either that I have caught some kind of a really strong flu virus or that my immune system is really low during this time of the year... or it can also be the Lord's way of tapping my shoulders to say "Slow down my child, you haven't had a break since the beginning of the year". Kaya lang, medyo napalakas yata ang pag tap ni Lord sa aking shoulders kasi I was bedridden since Friday afternoon till Sunday night (well, i was able to go to church Sunday morning). But still, it was the worst flu ever! where every part of my body aches literally, sumabay pa ang dysmenorrhea di ba?  It feels as if even my mind can no longer focus which hurts more! Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a little, but it really was really something!! So, what would you do if you were me? Not to move at all, right?  Stay under the sheets and sleep. What a way to slow down and rest. To be sick and tired...

Whew! I wasn't able to touch my ENS 211 assignment and my ENS 201 presentation :c  Whatever! I'm sick and tired! :)

surprise!surprise!

Everyday, I always look forward for my beautiful surprise. My officemates and I would always share stories of our surprises for the day. Be it a wonderful sunset, a flock of birds, beautiful wild flower, a very nice rain tree crown formation, the falling rain, a text or email from a long lost friend, chatting with an old crush, meeting an old friend, seeing a former professor, a reply from a collaborator, a friendster invitation from a sis whom you haven't seen in ages, or knowing that your "dream guy" is once again single and available, or... falling in line at the registrar's office to get the TOR that was supposed to be released weeks ago then finding out that you're standing next to your ultimate college crush! ♥  Isn't that great! But, my greatest surprise of the week!? Being one of the top scorers in my ENS 201 class! That was really unexpected! Well, God is really very good for giving us everyday surprises :)

hmmm, ano kaya surprise ko bukas?

On letting go and moving on…

Sometimes, there are names you’d rather not mentioned and stories not shared for it might once again open boxes that have been sealed for so long. Some memories are better off kept inside that little box in the corner of your room, because, once opened, the “there’s one time” stories will start to come out of your mouth again and the desire to know the “what ifs” will bother you once again. Everything else will keep on coming back to you… It’s a vicious cycle…and remembering is the saddest thing…


Letting go is not something you do in one sitting, it’s something you go through everyday, over and over and over…

-- Mic way back April 18, 2005


That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home, Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what it is going on in our hearts—and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.


One has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters…What has passed will not return…

-- Paulo Coelho (Closing cycles)

 

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
-- Anon


Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia


If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then, I will either wait for him or forget about him…Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

-- Paulo Coelho (text ni Mic sa akin August 18, 2006)


A clean break is easier. You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on, but if you leave things messy, and things don’t put right, then, it just hurts…forever.

--Little Black Book

Wazzup?!

At the beginning of the year, I posted here a song that says, this year is gonna be incredible, this year is gonna be the one…and I labeled it as my song of the year. But now, I’m not really sure if I’m keeping on with the song. For the last 5 months, I…

January

• submitted application and requirements for Graduate School (excited)

February

• finished the CoL 2008 integration and scrutiny (busy,boring)
• had an annual performance evaluation rating: exceeded expectations (great! I think I deserve that)  

March 

• went out of town for a relaxing weekend doing nothing but dive, snorkel, eat, sleep and talk (relax, happy)
• prepared requirements for visa application and travel to Beijing (annoying for some reasons)
• received Notice of Admission for the Graduate School as a regular student (happy, anxious)      

March-April

• attended the CoL 2008 Annual Checklist launch and team meeting in Beijing(exciting, feel good, promising)

April

• ascended the GREAT WALL OF CHINA (euphoric)
• been emotionally down for some reason (praning)  
• started working with Aquamaps (eager)

May   

• been here and there, terribly down and up again, keeping in touch with my old friends and meeting new people (praning pa rin)  
• been diagnosed with hypertension and was not able to get flu vaccine(panic)
• passed the medical exam for enrollment, was advised to loose weight and exercise (ok, fine, so I’m officially OVERWEIGHT!!! MOTIVATE)
• enlisted 6 units for the first semester (applause)
• let MY DENTIST (TMJ)THREW MY SPLINT TO THE TRASH BIN, SPLINT THERAPHY’S OVER (soooo liberating)
• let MY DENTIST (Ortho) PUT ELASTICS ON MY BRACKETS (torture)
• WILL HAVE TO WEAR NIGHT GUARDS!!! (another torture)
• am still looking forward for the batad trip with colleagues (thrilled)

Well, I’m still hopeful that I can keep up with my song of the year for the next 7 months of 2008 J (POSITIVE, BOUYANT, choose to be happy)

on goodbyes and being solo...

Ivy, my roommate, started a new job in Makati City last week. I am seriously super happy for her to be able to finally land on a job that best suits her academic background and where she can probably realize her potentials. Ivy's like one of my younger sisters. We were 24 hour roommates because we also shared the same room at the office. So, since last week I was technically staying alone in our apartment and I'm feeling great. I believe I'm used to being solo, after all I spent more than 2 years in Mindanao with practically nothing and no one. But, last night was a bit different! I don't know what came into me when I open the door of the apartment. It just feels sad! Ivy already informed me earlier in the day that she was here during the weekend and that she already moved some of her stuff...including the TV! I am not a TV fanatic, well, not until Ron (harharhar) but seeing the TV not there feels strange. It feels like I'm starting anew. I don't feel lonely but I feel so alone! While I can so hear the sound of  the guys next door's TV not tuned in to ANC but to my not-so-favorite TV station. Anyways, maybe, I was just used to the sound of the TV every night. Maybe, I am no longer used to being solo. Maybe, I just miss Ivy and all my friends who chose to live a life abroad. Or maybe, just maybe, I was just reminded of the time when my older housemates in  college were starting to leave the house one by one because they were ready to start a new life as young professionals while I was still trying to survive the hustle and bustle of school.

Oh well, whatever it is, one thing is sure...I still hate goodbyes. I know that goodbyes are part of growing up and there sure will be more goodbyes to come...but I would like to think now that the more important thing is to look forward to more hellos :) Right Ivyjoy?

I think I am a Rose!

Roselyrics © Boyd Hagart-Alexander music © Cynthia Alexander

Walk the streets alone tonight no life at home
must get out to watch the pretty Ones
You want to talk but they don't understand
You want to live, want to love
You are a Rose, on a stormy sea
Rose, uncaring society
Rose, of impropriety

You must be what you must be no other the same
Hunting streets with hormones high
Forgotten Rose, alone you cry
You want to live, want to love

You are a Rose, on a stormy sea
Rose, uncaring society
Rose, with thorns to hide your feelings

You are a Rose, on a stormy sea
Rose, uncaring society
Rose, of impropriety
Rose, with thorns to hide your feelings

 

song of the year (not for a moment )

According to astrologers, manghuhula, magfe-feng shui, mga chinese at kay marianne pan, the year of the Earth Rat is a lucky year for the DRAGONS! kaya...this is it! hehehe

This Year (Chantal Kreviazuk)

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

This year, I'll paint my masterpiece
This year, I'll be recognized
I can feel like I'll fall in love for real
This year, this year

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh...

This year, I'll reach the pinnacle
This year, I'll get to the top
People will ask where she get that energy
This year, I'm never gonna stop

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

I'm gonna have fun
Just watch me now
This year
This year
This year