surprise!surprise!

Everyday, I always look forward for my beautiful surprise. My officemates and I would always share stories of our surprises for the day. Be it a wonderful sunset, a flock of birds, beautiful wild flower, a very nice rain tree crown formation, the falling rain, a text or email from a long lost friend, chatting with an old crush, meeting an old friend, seeing a former professor, a reply from a collaborator, a friendster invitation from a sis whom you haven't seen in ages, or knowing that your "dream guy" is once again single and available, or... falling in line at the registrar's office to get the TOR that was supposed to be released weeks ago then finding out that you're standing next to your ultimate college crush! ♥  Isn't that great! But, my greatest surprise of the week!? Being one of the top scorers in my ENS 201 class! That was really unexpected! Well, God is really very good for giving us everyday surprises :)

hmmm, ano kaya surprise ko bukas?

On letting go and moving on…

Sometimes, there are names you’d rather not mentioned and stories not shared for it might once again open boxes that have been sealed for so long. Some memories are better off kept inside that little box in the corner of your room, because, once opened, the “there’s one time” stories will start to come out of your mouth again and the desire to know the “what ifs” will bother you once again. Everything else will keep on coming back to you… It’s a vicious cycle…and remembering is the saddest thing…


Letting go is not something you do in one sitting, it’s something you go through everyday, over and over and over…

-- Mic way back April 18, 2005


That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home, Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what it is going on in our hearts—and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.


One has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters…What has passed will not return…

-- Paulo Coelho (Closing cycles)

 

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
-- Anon


Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia


If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then, I will either wait for him or forget about him…Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

-- Paulo Coelho (text ni Mic sa akin August 18, 2006)


A clean break is easier. You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on, but if you leave things messy, and things don’t put right, then, it just hurts…forever.

--Little Black Book

Wazzup?!

At the beginning of the year, I posted here a song that says, this year is gonna be incredible, this year is gonna be the one…and I labeled it as my song of the year. But now, I’m not really sure if I’m keeping on with the song. For the last 5 months, I…

January

• submitted application and requirements for Graduate School (excited)

February

• finished the CoL 2008 integration and scrutiny (busy,boring)
• had an annual performance evaluation rating: exceeded expectations (great! I think I deserve that)  

March 

• went out of town for a relaxing weekend doing nothing but dive, snorkel, eat, sleep and talk (relax, happy)
• prepared requirements for visa application and travel to Beijing (annoying for some reasons)
• received Notice of Admission for the Graduate School as a regular student (happy, anxious)      

March-April

• attended the CoL 2008 Annual Checklist launch and team meeting in Beijing(exciting, feel good, promising)

April

• ascended the GREAT WALL OF CHINA (euphoric)
• been emotionally down for some reason (praning)  
• started working with Aquamaps (eager)

May   

• been here and there, terribly down and up again, keeping in touch with my old friends and meeting new people (praning pa rin)  
• been diagnosed with hypertension and was not able to get flu vaccine(panic)
• passed the medical exam for enrollment, was advised to loose weight and exercise (ok, fine, so I’m officially OVERWEIGHT!!! MOTIVATE)
• enlisted 6 units for the first semester (applause)
• let MY DENTIST (TMJ)THREW MY SPLINT TO THE TRASH BIN, SPLINT THERAPHY’S OVER (soooo liberating)
• let MY DENTIST (Ortho) PUT ELASTICS ON MY BRACKETS (torture)
• WILL HAVE TO WEAR NIGHT GUARDS!!! (another torture)
• am still looking forward for the batad trip with colleagues (thrilled)

Well, I’m still hopeful that I can keep up with my song of the year for the next 7 months of 2008 J (POSITIVE, BOUYANT, choose to be happy)

on goodbyes and being solo...

Ivy, my roommate, started a new job in Makati City last week. I am seriously super happy for her to be able to finally land on a job that best suits her academic background and where she can probably realize her potentials. Ivy's like one of my younger sisters. We were 24 hour roommates because we also shared the same room at the office. So, since last week I was technically staying alone in our apartment and I'm feeling great. I believe I'm used to being solo, after all I spent more than 2 years in Mindanao with practically nothing and no one. But, last night was a bit different! I don't know what came into me when I open the door of the apartment. It just feels sad! Ivy already informed me earlier in the day that she was here during the weekend and that she already moved some of her stuff...including the TV! I am not a TV fanatic, well, not until Ron (harharhar) but seeing the TV not there feels strange. It feels like I'm starting anew. I don't feel lonely but I feel so alone! While I can so hear the sound of  the guys next door's TV not tuned in to ANC but to my not-so-favorite TV station. Anyways, maybe, I was just used to the sound of the TV every night. Maybe, I am no longer used to being solo. Maybe, I just miss Ivy and all my friends who chose to live a life abroad. Or maybe, just maybe, I was just reminded of the time when my older housemates in  college were starting to leave the house one by one because they were ready to start a new life as young professionals while I was still trying to survive the hustle and bustle of school.

Oh well, whatever it is, one thing is sure...I still hate goodbyes. I know that goodbyes are part of growing up and there sure will be more goodbyes to come...but I would like to think now that the more important thing is to look forward to more hellos :) Right Ivyjoy?

I think I am a Rose!

Roselyrics © Boyd Hagart-Alexander music © Cynthia Alexander

Walk the streets alone tonight no life at home
must get out to watch the pretty Ones
You want to talk but they don't understand
You want to live, want to love
You are a Rose, on a stormy sea
Rose, uncaring society
Rose, of impropriety

You must be what you must be no other the same
Hunting streets with hormones high
Forgotten Rose, alone you cry
You want to live, want to love

You are a Rose, on a stormy sea
Rose, uncaring society
Rose, with thorns to hide your feelings

You are a Rose, on a stormy sea
Rose, uncaring society
Rose, of impropriety
Rose, with thorns to hide your feelings

 

song of the year (not for a moment )

According to astrologers, manghuhula, magfe-feng shui, mga chinese at kay marianne pan, the year of the Earth Rat is a lucky year for the DRAGONS! kaya...this is it! hehehe

This Year (Chantal Kreviazuk)

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

This year, I'll paint my masterpiece
This year, I'll be recognized
I can feel like I'll fall in love for real
This year, this year

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh...

This year, I'll reach the pinnacle
This year, I'll get to the top
People will ask where she get that energy
This year, I'm never gonna stop

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

I'm gonna have fun
Just watch me now
This year
This year
This year

wish list...

for my birthday...

or ...

so, if you know somebody who's thinking of giving  me a gift, here it is :D