The Emotional Bank Account

I came across this article written by M.J. Clark which discusses the 6 ways Stephen Covey identified how  to make deposits and withdrawals with our Emotional Bank Account. This is a good read that I think we should all contemplate and apply with our day to day interactions with people.

Here are some excerpts from the article...

1) Understanding the Individual. This means listening intently to what the other person is saying and empathizing with how they may feel. It’s important to care for others and act with kindness toward them.

2) Keeping Commitments. How do you feel when someone arrives right on time when you have a meeting? How about when people simply do what they say they will do? You build up an emotional reserve by keeping your commitments.

3) Clarifying Expectations. We are not mind readers, and yet we consistently expect others to know what we expect of them. Communicating our expectations can help create a higher level of trust. When we ask for what we want, and we get it, we can then trust a little more.

4) Attending to the Little Things. Don’t you find that the little things tend to become the BIG things when they do not receive our attention? Doing the little things is how we honor and show respect for others. Small kindnesses, a smile, a little extra effort, a hug, doing something you didn’t “have” to: these are the things that build trust.

5) Showing Personal Integrity. Integrity is the moral floor upon which trusting relationships are built. When we operate with sound moral character, it makes it so easy for others to trust us.

6) Apologizing When We Make a Withdrawal. We will make mistakes; it’s part of life. But when you see you have violated a trust, sincerely apologizing is how we make a deposit to counteract the damage we have done.

Something Borrowed...

That scene. At the bar... when Rachel and Dex went out on a date, then Darcy came over to join them? Yup! That's so us. You're so Darcy and I'm so Rachel!

I miss you, friend...but I still can't believe you can be Darcy to me because I just can't be like Rachel to you!

hello again!

I have not visited this account for sometime...my last post was in in October 2012! The past year has been a series of highs and lows. I finally got hold of my MS diploma, resigned from the project that I had worked for 7 years, got a new job, moved to the city, live alone, reunite with friends, believed in second chances and new beginnings, felt betrayed, disbelieved in second changes and new beginnings, believed again, starting over...and truly loving my old and new found "true" friends!

what i learned today....

-- Ang Carinthia, Austria pla ay isang ski destination, at meron silang ski map.
-- Salamat kay google, nalaman ko isa isa ang meaning ng symbols sa plastic containers. See below:

--

-- My sister is coming home this Friday! That means, she'll bring my new pink UCB bag home.
-- There is such a thing as CHAR SIU SAUCE (by Lee Kum Kee), and it is an important ingredient in making Yellow Cab's Charlie Chan pasta :)

high and lows

one down!! 1.5 to go??

verse of the day: For with God nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37)

quote of the day:  The blind leading the deaf...

HAPPINESS

HAPPINESS

(Inspired by the song of the same title)

♫♪♫ HAPPINESS IS BEING ALONE EVERY NOW AND THEN.

AND HAPPINESS IS COMING HOME AGAIN.

HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,

DAY TIME AND NIGHT TIME TOO.

FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL

THAT'S LOVED BY YOU♫♪♫

For me…

Happiness is...

- travelling...for free!

- meeting a new friend

- reading a good book

Happiness is...

- a "how are you?" greeting from a stranger

- having my favorite mustard from Germany

- knowing a secret *-)

Happiness is...

- going home everyday with Nanay and Tatay

- laughing out loud while "The Bunso" is nervously asking permission from my parents if she be allowed to go out on a date with the brightest boy in her class

- keeping in touch with my family

Happiness is...

- having a new set of tennis balls

- for free...and from the Boss!!

- and being allowed for at least an hour twice a week to play with it :)

Happiness is...

-freshly brewed coffee in the morning

-or a mocha frappe from Starbucks

-or an iced coffee, Vietnamese style

There are a lot of things to be happy about…and when I’m feeling super low, I just think good thoughts…yah, just think good thoughts! :D

Everything for a reason...

Today, like any other Monday mornings of my life, I had a hard time getting myself out of bed.

Not until when I realized that I need to write that email for my thesis adviser! It's been more than a week since I submitted my thesis manuscript's first draft. And that would be my first agenda for the day...

Just when I was about to click the "Compose mail" icon, a new email got into my inbox! FROM THE ADVISER no less! It says:

Please see me this afternoon at 4:30pm, 3 October 2011 to discuss your draft manuscript and my comments and suggestions.

I think my heart beat rate just went double. This is it!  Today, I will know the verdict whether I will graduate at the end of the month or not. From that moment on, I can't think of anything else but the time: 4.30. I've made up all possible scenarios in my mind. One of which is the possibility of not graduating this semester.

So, at around 4:25, just five minutes before the scheduled meeting, I was there in front of my adviser's room. The door was locked. I walked towards the Chairman's office… and there he was coming out of the room.  As I sat on at the visitor's chair in his office, I can't feel or think of anything. It's as if, I’m just ready to accept whatever he will say, good or bad. When he opened my manuscript and started discussing with me what his suggestions and recommendations are, I knew...I cannot finish everything before the month ends.

After about an hour, we finished the discussion. Suddenly I just blurted out: Sir, there is still so much I need to do :( The Adviser replied: You don't have to rush, take it slowly. Just organize what you need to do first...step by step. And, I agree!

There really must be a lot of reasons why it's better not to graduate this sem…

1)     This thesis MUST be really good and publishable to an international science journal;

2)     The panel committee's schedule is just super hectic that I cannot find a common time for them for a defense this semester;

3)     I'll be going out of the country for a research training soon which means, I won't be  available for clearance, printing etc.etc.;

4)     I'm organizing an international meeting and symposium for December which take most of my time when I'm not doing the databases;

5)     There are 21 databases to integrate for the Annual Checklist 2012 before the year ends!

6)     I just acquired copy of the Millenium trilogy...I must read during the night :P

Anyways, I'm still hoping I can submit the second (and final draft, I hope) before the year ends so that I can truly have a very merry Christmas and super happy birthday and New Year! And, by the way, the sponsoring agency for my MSc gave me the clearance to travel abroad and to extend another semester for my thesis! God is good!